Here we are, on the heels of a stronger-than-expected hurricane, trying to resume life as normal. The power is returning, along with Internet, cable and phone service. Grocery stores have re-opened, people are outside cleaning up, and kids are returning to school. And while it's not "normal" yet, we are making strides in that direction.
If you are like most parents and caregivers, you may be wondering what is going through your child's mind right now as we recover from this storm. Yes, children are resilient, but hurricanes are scary events, and there are some things you can do (and not do) to help them process this latest weather event.
1. Validate their feelings. For example, your child may state something like, "That was a terrible storm. I wonder if things will ever get back to normal." You can respond with something like, "Seems like it really upset you and you are wondering if life will be the same again soon." Such a response, reflective in nature, lets children know you are listening and that you are accepting of their feelings. Trying to "make it better" is instinctual, but does not help a child express themselves and does not help them to feel better.
2. Make observations, rather than ask questions. Observations imply understanding, asking questions implies the opposite. If you have enough information to ask a question, you have enough information to make an observation. For instance, if you notice your child seems clingy, you might say, "You seem to need to be right next to me right now." This is more effective in letting your child know you are aware that they may be upset rather than asking, "Why are you so needy right now? Did the hurricane scare you?"
3. Get back into a routine as soon as you can. Scheduled meal times, bath times and bedtimes let children know that a sense of normalcy is back. It provides them with a sense of security and a normal "schedule of events" they can count on.
4. Limit information. In many households, it may lessen anxiety for adults to have the TV or radio constantly on. For children, it can have the opposite effect. This is not "normal" for them, and they often do not understand what is going on. A loop of catastrophic predictions or events is frightening.
5. Take care of yourself, and acknowledge your own feelings of fear and stress. Children look to adults to learn how to cope with difficult situations. If you are coping well, they will find comfort in your stability. If you are not coping well, take measures to help yourself, such as reaching out to others or engaging in activities that are calming or that release energy.
In the Gulf South, Katrina is still very much at the forefront of our everyday lives and comparisons will inevitably be made, by both adults and children alike. Memories will be dredged up and will need to be processed and dealt with. Many older children will remember how they felt during that time and may feel that way again, even if the situation is different. Younger children may not have memories, but have likely heard the Katrina stories, and instinctively know that this was a fearful time. It is normal for these feelings and reactions to surface right now, however, if a child's issues don't seem to resolve over the weeks following a hurricane, or seem to get worse, consider getting professional help for them. Some common signs and symptoms of distress in children and adolescents are:
Persistent fears, such as darkness, going to sleep at night, loud noises, and weather
Regressive behaviors like thumb sucking, bedwetting and excessive crying or clinginess
Sadness or withdrawal from friends or routines
Nightmares or sleep disturbances
Loss of appetite
Irritability or aggressiveness
Loss of concentration
Physical complaints
Remember, it is not always the extremity of the situation that cause feelings in children. Some children may become quite distressed over something seemingly insignificant, and others, who may have experienced something catastrophic, such as the loss of a home or pet, or who may have been rescued, may cope much better. It's important to monitor all children, and ourselves, and to get help if needed.
Wendy Romero, MSW, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in New Orleans, Louisiana. Wendy focuses solely on children and families by providing play therapy, children's counseling, family counseling and parent education. She has been a resident of South Louisiana all of her life, experienced the aftermath of Katrina and is raising a 6 year old son. She may be contacted at 504.327.7529 or wromero@fleurishplaytherapy.com.
No comments:
Post a Comment