Let's face it, little boys love weapons. It's ingrained in their DNA, and, try as you might, it cannot be un-ingrained. As the mother of a six year old boy, and a children's therapist as well, I will make the argument that you shouldn't attempt to squash this. If you do, there will be repercussions. Little boys are born with an innate desire to wield their swords and light sabers and to draw their guns. To take this away from them is to render them powerless in a world where they already have little power and to make them feel badly about having this desire. For little kids, the fascination with weaponry is more about being powerful and invincible than it is about killing anyone. Being a knight, a cowboy, a superhero, a pirate or a ninja is to live in a magical world where they have the power act out their fantasies.
As parents, and especially as mothers, this can be difficult to accept. Most women don't get it. We equate perceived violence as being negative or destructive. We worry that allowing our child to explore this world will result in him becoming a violent teenager or a violent adult. In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth. Because little boys are wired this way, repressing it only takes away a viable outlet for expression. And, yes, little boys do have aggressive feelings. It's nothing to be afraid of. As parents, we can help them channel it in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else. And when they have a way to express these emotions, they are less likely to take them out on you, their teachers or their friends at school. So, letting my kid play with weapons makes him less violent? Sounds contradictory, but yes. Exactly right.
If you're still not comfortable with the idea of having weapons around the house, at least consider starting with a bop bag or a pounding bench. You can direct your child there when he's upset. Beating up a bop bag doesn't condone violence. It sends the message that anger is a valid feeling, and channels that emotion into an appropriate activity. And once you're comfortable with that, empower him (and yourself). Hand him a foam sword and give him permission to be a little boy.
