Mother's Day for the Rest of Us

Another Mother's Day has come and gone.  Mothers make the world go round -- and we know it.  For those of you who were properly appreciated, I am truly happy that you got what you deserved, at least for a day.  Mother's Day is one of those holidays in which you can feel really good, or really bad, about.  It is kind of like Valentine's Day, with a lot of expectation about what others are supposed to do for you in order to show their appreciation.  And God forbid, it does not quite go that way.

For instance, I like to be taken out for breakfast -- nothing fancy, just an omelette or some pancakes at the pancake cottage.  When my 6 year old son turned his nose up at the idea, preferring to stay home, I was genuinely offended (and hurt).  Now, I am a children's therapist, and I know that 6 year olds are not capable yet of putting themselves in someone else's shoes (or properly appreciating anyone, for that matter, unless you've just bought them the newest Ninjago item).  Even that "appreciation" is short lived.  So, why did I have a meltdown as I watched his little mouth turn into a pout?  I really do not know.  And my offense quickly dissipated after watching him genuinely enjoy a giant chocolate chip pancake at the pancake cottage, to which we dragged his little sour face to.  I think there is just so much expectation that the day should be happy (no, blissful, actually) that it cannot possibly be lived up to.

Sure, I got to see the Facebook posts come trickling in.  Sew and sew took their mom to a fancy brunch with bottomless mimosas, sew and sew's husband bought them what seemed to be a $200 bouquet and sew and sew's kid made them a card so sweet that it made me teary-eyed.  All really nice, right?  I have a feeling, though, that there were many more of us that got a book we wanted or a much needed moment to ourselves.  Good too, right?  Although maybe not Facebook-postable.  For the record, though, all it really takes to appreciate most moms is to awaken to a clean kitchen, the garbage put out and a load of the kid's school uniforms put in the washer, just so the day is a little less exhausting and frustrating than usual.  Oh yeah, and to be able to sleep in and to take a nap if desired.

And, in my moments of feeling sad and unappreciated, I also thought about all of those women out there feeling even more sad because they have lost their mothers, are estranged from their mothers or just did not have one of those mothers that deserves to be put on a pedestal.  Or those women who really want to be mothers, and can't.  And then I felt guilty for my smallness.  But, then I decided to forgive myself.  We all have a right to our feelings without comparing them to everyone else's.  And I reminded myself, mothers make the world go round.  And I know it.