What Does It Mean to be a Registered Play Therapist?

The Registered Play Therapist credential is awarded by the Association for Play Therapy to those licensed mental health professionals with specialized training and experience in play therapy.  In short, these are the requirements:

License - Current and active individual state license to independently provide clinical mental health services

Educational Degrees - Master’s or higher mental health degree with demonstrated coursework in child development, theories of personality, principles of psychotherapy, and child & adolescent psychopathology, and ethics

Clinical Experience - General clinical experience required by state licensure roughly equivalent to 2 years and 2,000 hours of general mental health clinical experience

Play Therapy Training - 150 hours of play therapy specific instruction from institutions of higher education or APT-approved providers

Supervised Play Therapy Experience & Supervision - 500 hours of supervised play therapy specific experience plus 50 hours of concurrent play therapy specific supervision

A Registered Play Therapist must also receive 18 hours of play therapy specific instruction from institutions of higher education every 36 months. 

I did it!

Parenting Rules of Thumb

1. Focus on the donut, not the hole! Focus on the relationship (your strengths and your child’s strengths), NOT the problem.
2. Be a thermostat, not a thermometer! Learn to RESPOND (reflect) rather than REACT. The child’s feelings are not your feelings and needn’t escalate with him/her.
3. What’s most important may not be what you do, but what you do after what you did! We are certain to make mistakes, but we can recover. It is how we handle our mistakes that makes the difference.
4. The parent’s toes should follow his/her nose. Body language conveys interest.
5. You can’t give away what you do not possess. You can’t extend patience and acceptance to your child if you can’t first offer it to yourself.
6. When a child is drowning, don’t try to teach her to swim. When a child is feeling upset or out of control, that is not the moment to impart a rule or teach a lesson.
7. If you can’t say it in 10 words or less, don’t say it. As parents, we tend to overexplain, and our message gets lost in the words.
8. Grant in fantasy what you can’t grant in reality. It is okay to act out feelings and wishes that in reality may require limits.
9. Big choices for big kids, little choices for little kids. Choices given must be commensurate with child’s developmental stage.
10. Never do for a child that which he can do for himself. You will never know what your child is capable of unless you allow him to try!
11. Encourage the effort rather than praise the product. Children need encouragement like a plant needs water.
12. Don’t try to change everything at once! Focus on ‘big’ issues that ultimately will mean the most to your child’s development of positive self-esteem and feelings of competence and usefulness.
13. Where there are no limits, there is no security. (Consistent Limits = Secure Relationship) When you don’t follow through, you lose credibility and harm your relationship with your child.
14. Good things come in small packages. Don’t wait for big events to enter into your child’s world—the little ways are always with us. Hold onto precious moments.

Adapted by Wendy Romero, MSW, LCSW from:

Copyright (c) 2006, Taylor & Francis Group, LLC. From Child Parent Relationship Therapy (CPRT) Treatment Manual: A 10-Session Filial Therapy Model for Training Parents, by Bratton, S., Landreth, G., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S.R. (2006). New York: Routledge.  Permission to reproduce is granted purchaser only.

 

My Play Therapy Office!

This has been a long time coming, but I have finally photographed my new office. This was a tall order -- to combine a playroom with a work area -- and to make it appealing for little kids, teenagers and parents. Whew!  This artwork, by the lovely and talented Eimear Brennan, whose work I discovered while in Ireland, was my inspiration.

How to Help Your Child Process a Hurricane

Here we are, on the heels of a stronger-than-expected hurricane, trying to resume life as normal.  The power is returning, along with Internet, cable and phone service.  Grocery stores have re-opened, people are outside cleaning up, and kids are returning to school.  And while it's not "normal" yet, we are making strides in that direction.

If you are like most parents and caregivers, you may be wondering what is going through your child's mind right now as we recover from this storm.  Yes, children are resilient, but hurricanes are scary events, and there are some things you can do (and not do) to help them process this latest weather event.

1.  Validate their feelings.  For example, your child may state something like, "That was a terrible storm.  I wonder if things will ever get back to normal."  You can respond with something like, "Seems like it really upset you and you are wondering if life will be the same again soon."  Such a response, reflective in nature, lets children know you are listening and that you are accepting of their feelings.  Trying to "make it better" is instinctual, but does not help a child express themselves and does not help them to feel better.

2.  Make observations, rather than ask questions.  Observations imply understanding, asking questions implies the opposite.  If you have enough information to ask a question, you have enough information to make an observation.  For instance, if you notice your child seems clingy, you might say, "You seem to need to be right next to me right now."  This is more effective in letting your child know you are aware that they may be upset rather than asking, "Why are you so needy right now?  Did the hurricane scare you?"

3.  Get back into a routine as soon as you can.  Scheduled meal times, bath times and bedtimes let children know that a sense of normalcy is back.  It provides them with a sense of security and a normal "schedule of events" they can count on.

4.  Limit information.  In many households, it may lessen anxiety for adults to have the TV or radio constantly on.  For children, it can have the opposite effect.  This is not "normal" for them, and they often do not understand what is going on.  A loop of catastrophic predictions or events is frightening.

5.  Take care of yourself, and acknowledge your own feelings of fear and stress.  Children look to adults to learn how to cope with difficult situations.  If you are coping well, they will find comfort in your stability.  If you are not coping well, take measures to help yourself, such as reaching out to others or engaging in activities that are calming or that release energy.

In the Gulf South, Katrina is still very much at the forefront of our everyday lives and comparisons will inevitably be made, by both adults and children alike.  Memories will be dredged up and will need to be processed and dealt with.  Many older children will remember how they felt during that time and may feel that way again, even if the situation is different.  Younger children may not have memories, but have likely heard the Katrina stories, and instinctively know that this was a fearful time.  It is normal for these feelings and reactions to surface right now, however, if a child's issues don't seem to resolve over the weeks following a hurricane, or seem to get worse, consider getting professional help for them.  Some common signs and symptoms of distress in children and adolescents are:

Persistent fears, such as darkness, going to sleep at night, loud noises, and weather
Regressive behaviors like thumb sucking, bedwetting and excessive crying or clinginess
Sadness or withdrawal from friends or routines
Nightmares or sleep disturbances
Loss of appetite
Irritability or aggressiveness
Loss of concentration
Physical complaints

Remember, it is not always the extremity of the situation that cause feelings in children.  Some children may become quite distressed over something seemingly insignificant, and others, who may have experienced something catastrophic, such as the loss of a home or pet, or who may have been rescued, may cope much better.  It's important to monitor all children, and ourselves, and to get help if needed.

Wendy Romero, MSW, LCSW is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in New Orleans, Louisiana.  Wendy focuses solely on children and families by providing play therapy, children's counseling, family counseling and parent education.  She has been a resident of South Louisiana all of her life, experienced the aftermath of Katrina and is raising a 6 year old son.  She may be contacted at 504.327.7529 or wromero@fleurishplaytherapy.com.

Off to Ireland!

Once again, I am off to Ireland!  I will spend five weeks there, soaking up all that is Irish, with the family and some Loyola teachers and students.  For me, it's the scenery, the warmth of the locals and the chance to recharge.  When I return, Fleurish will have its chance to flourish -- meaning I will be accepting new clients and making the move towards having a full-time private practice.

Little Boys Love Weapons!

Let's face it, little boys love weapons.  It's ingrained in their DNA, and, try as you might, it cannot be un-ingrained.  As the mother of a six year old boy, and a children's therapist as well, I will make the argument that you shouldn't attempt to squash this.  If you do, there will be repercussions.  Little boys are born with an innate desire to wield their swords and light sabers and to draw their guns.  To take this away from them is to render them powerless in a world where they already have little power and to make them feel badly about having this desire.  For little kids, the fascination with weaponry is more about being powerful and invincible than it is about killing anyone.  Being a knight, a cowboy, a superhero, a pirate or a ninja is to live in a magical world where they have the power act out their fantasies.

As parents, and especially as mothers, this can be difficult to accept.  Most women don't get it.  We equate perceived violence as being negative or destructive.  We worry that allowing our child to explore this world will result in him becoming a violent teenager or a violent adult.  In fact, nothing could be farther from the truth.  Because little boys are wired this way, repressing it only takes away a viable outlet for expression.  And, yes, little boys do have aggressive feelings.  It's nothing to be afraid of.  As parents, we can help them channel it in a way that doesn't hurt anyone else.  And when they have a way to express these emotions, they are less likely to take them out on you, their teachers or their friends at school.  So, letting my kid play with weapons makes him less violent?  Sounds contradictory, but yes.  Exactly right.

If you're still not comfortable with the idea of having weapons around the house, at least consider starting with a bop bag or a pounding bench.  You can direct your child there when he's upset.  Beating up a bop bag doesn't condone violence.  It sends the message that anger is a valid feeling, and channels that emotion into an appropriate activity.  And once you're comfortable with that, empower him (and yourself).  Hand him a foam sword and give him permission to be a little boy.

Mother's Day for the Rest of Us

Another Mother's Day has come and gone.  Mothers make the world go round -- and we know it.  For those of you who were properly appreciated, I am truly happy that you got what you deserved, at least for a day.  Mother's Day is one of those holidays in which you can feel really good, or really bad, about.  It is kind of like Valentine's Day, with a lot of expectation about what others are supposed to do for you in order to show their appreciation.  And God forbid, it does not quite go that way.

For instance, I like to be taken out for breakfast -- nothing fancy, just an omelette or some pancakes at the pancake cottage.  When my 6 year old son turned his nose up at the idea, preferring to stay home, I was genuinely offended (and hurt).  Now, I am a children's therapist, and I know that 6 year olds are not capable yet of putting themselves in someone else's shoes (or properly appreciating anyone, for that matter, unless you've just bought them the newest Ninjago item).  Even that "appreciation" is short lived.  So, why did I have a meltdown as I watched his little mouth turn into a pout?  I really do not know.  And my offense quickly dissipated after watching him genuinely enjoy a giant chocolate chip pancake at the pancake cottage, to which we dragged his little sour face to.  I think there is just so much expectation that the day should be happy (no, blissful, actually) that it cannot possibly be lived up to.

Sure, I got to see the Facebook posts come trickling in.  Sew and sew took their mom to a fancy brunch with bottomless mimosas, sew and sew's husband bought them what seemed to be a $200 bouquet and sew and sew's kid made them a card so sweet that it made me teary-eyed.  All really nice, right?  I have a feeling, though, that there were many more of us that got a book we wanted or a much needed moment to ourselves.  Good too, right?  Although maybe not Facebook-postable.  For the record, though, all it really takes to appreciate most moms is to awaken to a clean kitchen, the garbage put out and a load of the kid's school uniforms put in the washer, just so the day is a little less exhausting and frustrating than usual.  Oh yeah, and to be able to sleep in and to take a nap if desired.

And, in my moments of feeling sad and unappreciated, I also thought about all of those women out there feeling even more sad because they have lost their mothers, are estranged from their mothers or just did not have one of those mothers that deserves to be put on a pedestal.  Or those women who really want to be mothers, and can't.  And then I felt guilty for my smallness.  But, then I decided to forgive myself.  We all have a right to our feelings without comparing them to everyone else's.  And I reminded myself, mothers make the world go round.  And I know it.